Scott Viera
Becoming a cancer warrior
Sydney, Kelli, Scott, and Courtney Viera
When I first sat down to write this article, I thought it was going to be easy. I had been tested in battle: I went through 30 radiation treatments and eight months of chemotherapy, and I thought I was better. But after I began planning the article, I was thrown a curveball like those that Red Sox pitcher Pedro Martinez uses to strike out batters.
I was told I still have cancer cells in my body. Eighteen months after completing chemotherapy, I would have to undergo six more months of treatment, and receive four drugs instead of two. I would have more troublesome side effects than before. That is when I looked deep inside myself.
Now I would have to write a different article than the one I had planned. After participating in the sport of wrestling for the last 27 years as a competitor and coach, I reflected on what the sport taught me over the years. I came up with three questions I learned in wrestling, and applied them to my cancer: What is mental toughness? Why do I need a positive attitude? How do I win the toughest game of my life?
I was scared and shocked when I found I had cancer, and even more shocked to learn it had come back. Soon, I realized I needed to prepare for a war again. I always told myself, "Great warriors know how to win. They believe in themselves when others have doubt."
An article by a good friend of mine, Steve Fraser, who has been the Greco-Roman wrestling coach for the United States team in the last three Olympics, gave me inspiration. In his article Are You Tough Enough?, published in his monthly newsletter, Steve wrote: "Toughness is being able to create positive emotions upon command, thus enabling you to bring all your talent and skills to life at that moment."
This was not how I normally thought of mental toughness, but in reflecting on the first question, what is mental toughness, I agreed that you need to harness all of your positive emotions to fight any fight, including cancer. Fraser also writes, "Toughness is physical, mental, and emotional. And make no mistake—toughness is learned. If you are not tough, it is just because you have not learned and practiced enough."
When asking myself the second question, why I needed a positive attitude, I found it helpful to reverse it. Why would I want a negative attitude? A negative attitude is made up of fear, confusion, and helplessness. As Fraser says, "some emotions can be disempowering, blocking your potential." This is what negative thoughts will do in your fight of fights. Any contest, including cancer, is based on believing we can win the battles, and then the war.
Positive thoughts and a never-say-lose attitude are helping me overcome the greatest challenge of my life. Positive thinking is the only thing you have that nobody can take away. A strong attitude will help you win. My friend closes his newsletters with "Expect to win." I say, "Expect to survive and live a full life." That is the ultimate win.
I reflected on the third question unexpectedly when Dr. Joel Fish, a noted sports psychologist, addressed the wrestling team at Roger Williams University (where I coach) on becoming tough and fighting distractions. He told them that throughout his talk, he was going to call out numbers, and he expected them to remember the numbers at the end. He proceeded with his talk, also doing card tricks and telling stories. All the while he was quietly saying the numbers.
That's when it hit me. Chemotherapy, side effects, and fear are distractions in my life, just as the cards tricks and stories were to my wrestlers. The real reason I need to beat cancer is simple. It is three people: my wife of nine years, Kelli, and my daughters, Courtney, who is 6, and Sydney, who is 3. Kelli is the best thing that ever happened to me. She is my best friend and soulmate. My daughters, Courtney and Sydney, are the loves of my life. How could I let them down? How could I not watch my daughters grow up? How could I not grow old with my wife? My reason for winning the toughest game of my life was right in front of me.
The answers to my questions were easier to find than I thought. As cancer patients, we need to believe in the fight we undertake. We know the enemy and must put all our energy into defeating it. As men, sometimes we are embarrassed to say we have cancer, but there is nothing wrong with letting the world know. I did. Now, I have more support than I ever thought was possible.
